Open main menu
On affection, friendship, love and hate
by Adam Phillips
About this EXP
Adam Phillips, a child psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, explores how affection is crucial and transformative in our lives.
Adam Phillips →
Key point 1
One of the things about the initial affectionate relationship is that there’s mutual accommodation, that people are attuned to what the other wants and lives and is frightened of.
Key point 2
Once you exploit someone’s affection, you effectively exploit their innocence, you rob them of their innocence. Innocence means fundamental trust, unsuspicious trust.
Key point 3
Friendship is a very important period in a child’s life, when they begin to realise that there might be real pleasures outside the family circle.
Key point 4
It’s misleading to think we either hate each other or we love each other. Wherever there’s love, there’s hate. Wherever there’s hate, there’s love.
Other EXPs by Adam Phillips
Helping and being helped: fear and desire
Reading Freud today